Rean Schwarzer ([personal profile] reanbeanmachine) wrote2018-06-16 10:59 pm

This has spoilers for tocs 2 end game

[Crow's wounds required immediate treatment, and while he was in the care of Heimdallr's hospital something went... Wrong. Word got out somehow who he was, leader of that terrorist group, the sniper whose bullet set off the war. Some bribes, some shady dealings, and before the intelligence agency or RMP could react, he was home from his room.

Luckily for Crow by the time he's kidnapped he's in stable condition, and his captors want him to recover, so he's been transported carefully. Where he finds himself though, well that's hard to say when he wakes up chained to a bed in a featureless room with no windows, and a drain on the floor. At least his bandages are fresh.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-18 10:11 am (UTC)(link)
[Being touched feels like heaven and like having red-hot steel dragged across his skin at the same time. He reacts accordingly -- pained cries that trail into needy moans, as his muscles convulse. He wants to crawl away but he's shaking too hard to move. Trying gets him back up onto his hands for a half second, but then he slips and ends up on his face. Which also feels terribleamazing, so his breath catches and he chokes on it.

Since trying to move is making it worse he stays down. The floor is still too much though so he's hiccuping til he coughs, face pressed to the floor, fingertips pressed against the concrete and his back arched as he tries not to let his hips touch the floor. He could not care less what it looks like as long as it's just a little easier on him.]

Stop-- [Don't touch him it's unbearable.] Please stop!

[At least he's so out of it the words aren't sinking in.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-18 10:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Crow isn't coherent but he's conscious enough to know where this is going. There's nowhere to escape to, so the begging just increases, frantically, as he weakly tries to push the man's hands away without jostling himself too much.

It's absolutely desperate. He's lost every last bit of his earlier defiance.]

Nononono--

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-18 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[Honestly Crow's dangerously close to fainting. For just a moment when it starts he blacks out, twitching and spasming but not actually fully conscious for it. It's more than his body can handle. It has been for awhile.

He's screaming now but he can't hear himself. He can just hear his heart hammering in his ears, and his mind's too scrambled to focus on anything else. It's instinct to try to pull the things off, so he's doing that too, but the chains only give him so much reach and there are too many signals crossing eachother for him to have any grip.

There's so much hitting him at once he hasn't realised he's gotten off again. It doesn't actually relieve the pressure. It's just getting him sticky with more than sweat, which doesn't register compared to the rest.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-18 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[He can't gather his thoughts enough for an intelligent response. What is he supposed to say? He doesn't remember. He has enough awareness to grab the man's arm and squeeze, but not enough to actually try to pull the hand from his face. He's not sure that's what he wants anyway. At least a gentleish touch feels more good than bad. Maybe he should lean into it instead.

Yeah he's doing that. Not with any conscious decision but simply because even though it's painfully overwhelming, it's better than the shocks.

His only answer to the question is a slight headshake. He's not trying to be defiant, he just can't formulate a response and he's afraid of saying the wrong thing.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-18 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I--

[He doesn't repent, though. He's not sorry for doing it. He is, however, really damned sorry he managed to piss off this kind of person. Even if he weren't, right now he can't even imagine holding onto pride. His muscles are still twitching from shocks, his whole body is trembling with sensory overload, and he can't make sense of up or down, let alone right or wrong.

Just existing is too much. He wants to claw his skin off but that'd just make the dizzying painpleasure worse. He wishes his heart would stop. It feels like it's on the verge of it already.

He tries, out of residual resilience, to sit up. Putting his hand on the floor and pushing is in itself agonizing, and he whines shakily, but he does manage to get slightly up off the ground. Slightly, before moving is too much. Every brush of cloth and chains sends a jolt down his spine. The rough concrete pressing into his hand is like pushing against needles. It feels like his body is devouring itself. Like there's molten metal in his veins, and even that feels good.

He can't make it. He folds within seconds, hitting the floor again and curling in on himself even though it's not protecting him from anything at all.]

I'm sorry...

[He'll be a pain again later. Right now he just can't. He'd do nearly anything to make it stop.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-19 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
[This is not the mercy he was looking for. Not at all. Touch is torture, but Crow doesn't have the strength to do more than try, weakly, to wriggle away from it. He can't, though. Moving away from one hand presses him against another, which feels amazing, and he's crying hysterically again in moments. He needs this so badly but he hates it just as much.

Being afraid, feeling violated, those feelings are definitely there, but they're second to sheer physical suffering. He's aware enough not to claw or bite, lest it makes things worse, but he's not really thinking about humiliation. He's just reacting to sensation, the assault on his nerves that's all mixed up and confusing and overwhelming any scraps of sanity he can find in himself.

He can't beg with his mouth full but the urge is still there. The problem is, this particular torture has him unsure whether to beg for it to stop or beg for more.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-19 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
[He does, ultimately, end up begging for more. He also does actually pass out, more than once, if only for a few seconds. It's incredibly good but that's too much, too. And when he starts to regain awareness knowing it's good just makes him even more miserable. He's going to remember it -- some of it fuzzily, but he knows very well what happened and how he caved.

When they're done he feels like so much gutter slime. He's beyond exhausted, beyond traumatized, and even when the drugs wear off he can hardly move, just because his whole body is so completely worn out. He has no voice left to whine -- he lost that an hour or two ago -- but even if he had one he wouldn't be complaining. He feels too awful. Too humiliated, and hurt, and scared, and vulnerable. He's finding himself so utterly terrified of more that he's just making himself as small and unobtrusive as possible. As if by staying down, keeping his face hidden in his arms on the floor and only breathing as shallowly as he can, he'll avoid further harm. As if he isn't entirely aware that this whole sick situation was designed specifically for him, and that these people want nothing more than to hurt him as much as possible.

He wants to be rescued right now. It's a pathetic thought that he's cursing himself for. Crow is strong. He does things on his own. He doesn't need Rean, or Vita, or anyone, to get where he wants to go. Normally, anyway. Right now being alone feels hopeless and horrible, and as much as he wants to stand by himself he knows he can't. He's stuck. So he really wants to see them, with such intensity that he almost starts to cry again. He doesn't, though. If nothing else he's determined to control any tiny bit of himself that he can. He couldn't not react before, he can't stop these people from doing what they want to him, so he's fiercely determined to grab onto any little scrap of agency left.

That's basically just the whole not crying thing though. The rest is out of his hands.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-19 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
[The blanket and food feel nothing but insulting. He doesn't want to be taken care of by people who're going to undo it all tomorrow. He wants to throw it all away, but he doesn't actually want to die. He wants to believe that with all their stubbornness and power, his friends will find him. Rean will burst in with Class VII behind him, or Vita will pop out of nowhere, or if he's lucky someone will bomb the whole building-- Okay yeah he'd be fine with dying as long as these fuckers go with him.

None of that has happened yet though, so he grudgingly downs the soup and water and huddles under the blanket. On the bright side, he's so exhausted it's not too hard to sleep. In fact he's out the instant he lets himself relax a little.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-19 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
[It makes him feel pathetic, but he hangs on to the blanket even when he's pulled on. He's still sore and worn, so his legs are wobbly and he'd really just rather go back to sleep.]

Do I look it?

[It'd be wiser to just agree, but being agreeable didn't help yesterday. They weren't any less cruel, so why should he debase himself even more? Unfortunately he can't really look cool when he's clinging to a blanket and his voice is a tired rasp.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-19 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
Mercy my ass. "Repenting" didn't get me shit from you yesterday.

[He's paying close attention to the table. Exhaustion isn't at all going to stop him from trying to be difficult. If there's anything he can reach... Hell, he's considering using his shackles to throttle someone.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-19 06:44 am (UTC)(link)
[He doesnt resist being pushed down. He tries to make it look like he's resisting a little though. The goal is to get the men holding him to underestimate him a little, so he has a better chance of fighting what's coming. He knows he can't win but he does want to hit back on his way down.]

[personal profile] filetofish 2018-06-19 07:37 am (UTC)(link)
[Tape. Not something he can fight back with, but definitely something concerning. He lets it happen though, leaning away just a bit for token resistance.]

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