reanbeanmachine | This has spoilers for tocs 2 end game

I'm a stone cold monster.

[He laughs, before his breath hitches, shaky, at the warmth of Rean's hands. Crow's skin is scarred, mostly recently, and he's lost weight, but he's no less pleasant to feel up. He thinks Rean's better, though. He could never possibly feel enough of him.

He doesn't want Rean to stop touching him, so he resists the urge to drop down and go right for the prize. He can still watch Rean's face, though -- and he does, looking him right in the eyes as he turns to catch Rean's thumb in his mouth.

While he's got that distraction going, he gently pinches a nipple. Because he's Crow and he wants the reaction.]

Ah--!

[Crow gets a reaction all right. Rean arching under his hand a little and his face going even more red. The lips on his thumb aren't being ignored either it's just the combination attack is pretty effective.]

I take it back! You're definitely a menace.

[He complains, breathless, shoving his hand up Crow's shirt more until the shirt itself is rucked up and Rean's able to flick his thumb over one of Crow's nipples. Not as aggressive as pinching but still going for it.]

Mnn...

[He'd agree, but his mouth is occupied. He does gasp at the touch, but that just pulls Rean's thumb further in -- which is just fine as far as Crow's concerned. That way he can do all sorts of lewd things with his tongue, while looking down at Rean with hooded eyes.]

Crow...

[His voice is a little more wrecked. He's not going anywhere with that he's just saying Crow's name while looking at him with wide eyes. It's... Really easy to be incredibly turned on by what Crow is doing with his tongue. Quite possibly it would be impossible not to have a lot of lewd thoughts about that. He takes a shaky breath and curls his thumb against Crow's tongue, rubbing a distracted circle over Crow's nipple with his fingers.]

[Being caught up in Rean is more than understandable. The level of haze filling Crow's eyes is maybe not. He looks euphoric, but also like he's about five seconds from passing out.

Both are true. For one he hasn't actually slept in ages, but mostly it's that he no longer knows how to process this kind of situation without zoning out somewhat. It's kind of automatic -- letting a pleasurable feeling sweep his consciousness away. He's completely wanton about it, sucking on Rean's thumb, licking across his palm and down his fingers while leaning shamelessly into his hand. It could be Crow's normal eroticism if the way he's shoving his body against Rean's wasn't so... mindless, and yet fevered and almost desperate.

He's thinking "ReanReanRean" but it's losing coherency very quickly.]

[It's alarming. He can tell this isn't... Maybe it's normal for Crow now but it's not normal and he doesn't know what to do. Crow said not to stop unless Crow tells him but he kind of wants to pause until Crow actually looks like he's not in some kind of trance.

There's also the fact that what Crow is doing is distracting and making him pant and moan softly, because it's Crow and it's fucking erotic as hell even when it's alarming.]

Crow. Hey. Look at me?

[Actually see him? He stops groping Crow's chest in favor of cupping Crow's face with both hands again.]

No--

[No don't distract him that's just terrible. Terrible in that his frazzled brain assumes being asked to focus during sex is the immediate precursor to something painful. Crow jumps, and for a moment the haze is replaced with equally mindless terror.]

Please d- ...don't s-stop...

[Even Crow's not sure if thats directed at Rean. He's confused and out of it, shaking his head as he tries to catch hold of his thoughts. Once he starts to though hes just mad at himself, embarrassed, so he tries to escape Rean's gentle face holding. He doesn't know where else to put his face so ultimately he decides to try the distraction tactic of shoving his head right up Rean's shirt and biting him.]

Ignore it.

[That earns a yelp at least, undignified and confused and offended. Rean sits up a little just so he can try to get his shirt off because Crow in his shirt biting! him!?]

Crow!

[It's a complaint but he's also worried. It's not like he knows what to do about any of this, and he did agree not to stop without Crow's request but...?

How do you even deal with Crow's level of trauma? He doesn't know. But he knows, he's pretty sure, trying to take it slower will hurt more so he drags Crow up gently when he gets his shirt off and bites his neck. Not even hard enough to be remotely painful except that Crow is always in pain, not that Rain knows. He's still trying to be super gentle anyway.]

I'm f-ine</>...!

[Crow is 100% glad Rean's not slowing down, and 110% enjoying that gentle bite. His fingertips press into Rean's abs, his lashes flutter, and he's thoroughly distracted. He's trying to stay present, but it's hard.]

Rean...

[Crow whines, telling himself that it'd be a bad idea to skip right to the end goal. He wants to, but he also wants this to be good for Rean. The last thing Crow needs is to give Rean bad memories when Rean's trying so hard to give Crow good ones.]

[Honestly Crow could do about anything and Rean would just be in love with him anyway. He tries biting a little harder, sucking on Crow's skin to leave a mark, determined to in fact, leave not just one but maybe several marks on Crow. They won't be as permanent as the new scars, but it's something.]

[Crow's body hurts so much, but the delightful sting of Rean leaving marks is no less amazing for that. In fact it might be even better, a distraction and a twisting of the pain into pleasure that he really needs.

But he still needs more. More and more and more until he can prove that real, good sex is better than any drug-fueled intensity. He needs to prove he can do things that aren't broken. His breath is shaky, soft noises escaping, and his hands are too-fast and needy as they slide over Rean's bare skin to fumble with his belt.]

[He is really distracted by those noises and touches, but not so much he can't add a few more marks to Crow's neck before Crow's got his belt undone and he has to let go and pull back enough to help get his own pants off.]

[Crow should stop and get undressed too, but he's too wound up to pause even a little. He's always been a sexually open kind of guy, but he'd have to admit he's never been nearly this frantic to get a dick in his mouth. He's sliding down, hands on Rean's thighs, and he couldn't slow down if he tried.

It's too manic and he knows that, but he just needs. He needs the good memories. He needs to see and hear and feel Rean, to prove he's real and Crow's here and it's not a dream. He needs to be good and useful and he needs to know he can be those things without hurting himself, on his own decision. He's absolutely conditioned to give himself now, but he wants to be doing it of his own will, for his own selfish reasons. As long as he's the one acting, as long as he's choosing what to do, he's less afraid, even though he's feeling totally out of control.]

[Rean was going to complain that Crow is wearing too much but then Crow is moving between his legs and he's distracted.

Of course he's already hard, it'd be impossible not to be in the situation, with the way Crow's touch sends shivers through him and even the frantic, desperate need is erotic, if alarming. He doesn't know if it's a good idea to let Crow go this fast but he doesn't know if any of this is a GOOD idea. They both need it anyway, to feel each other.

His fingers slide into Crow's hair, gently, and he sits up to look at him, voice a little choked.]

Crow...

[He wants so badly to be touching more of Crow, making Crow feel good, but it's difficult to form words right this exact moment.]

Let me.

[He breathes against Rean, fingers digging lightly into his skin as he takes him into his mouth. He doesn't want to stop. He doesn't even want to think.

He's not going to make it easy for Rean to think, either. By now Crow's unfairly aware of what feels good, and although he's hasty he's certainly not cutting corners. He wants Rean's complete attention -- he wants him not to be able to worry, too busy with the pleasure Crow's throwing at him full-force.]

[Crow's successful at shorting out Rean's brain at least. Successful at getting the reactions he's been wanting all this time, too. It's impossible to stay silent or even keep his voice down with what's Crow's doing, and Crow has his full, undivided attention. He's moaning and holding onto Crow's hair as gently as he can under the circumstances, pupils totally blown as he looks down at Crow and just cannot form anything other than Crow's name, over and over, with a few that's so good-- cut off in more completely lewd noises of enjoyment.]

[Crow pushes it all the way to the end, not letting up for even a moment. He's not even considering it one-sided, he just wants to be overwhelming. He wants to be enough -- and he's a little afraid of being the one acted on, if he's honest. That's why he's greedy enough not to stop until Rean's over the edge, unless Rean makes him.]

[He won't stop him, he told Crow he wouldn't. It's not like he exactly wants to stop either, except for his innate desire to want to reciprocate this. It's not like Crow getting him off will stop him from being able to though, so he's warning Crow when he's close, tugging at his hair and panting out between desperate little whines.]

Crow--Crow I'm about to--

[That's cute too. Rean's reactions are pleasure enough as far as Crow's concerned, so he looks up and makes eye contact as he does it, pulling him over with a roll of his tongue. He wants to memorize the look on Rean's face. It's a precious thing, after all.

Crow's completely shameless about it, swallowing as much as he can and then pulling back with swollen lips and the sticky remains of Rean's cum trailing from his tongue and down his chin. His face is flushed and he's winded, breathing in erratic, shaky gasps as he looks up at Rean with open affection and want.]

Rean... I love you.

[That seems really important to say, all of a sudden.]

[His expression is dazed but he's reaching down to drag Crow up so he can kiss him despite feeling shaky and bonelessly overwhelmed.]

Love you too.

[He murmurs against Crow's lips before kissing him breathlessly. Crow's too erotic and Rean needs a minute to recover but he can take that minute kissing Crow as fiercely as his orgasm-addled brain can handle.]

[Crow's lips are slick and his tongue is salty, and it makes no difference in how passionately he kisses Rean.

He could do this all day. He could spend all week watching Rean's face and listening to his voice. Unfortunately he's also tired and mashing his own trauma buttons so while he's taking Rean's face in his hands and kissing him desperately, making tiny needy noises into his mouth, he's also feeling awfully dizzy. He's just determined not to show it, which isn't that hard when he genuinely wants nothing more than to keep touching Rean until he dies.]

[He really doesn't care that Crow tastes like his own cum at the moment, he probably wouldn't care ever honestly. He just wants to kiss him. But after a moment of actually semi-catching his breath he's tangling his fingers in Crow's hair and settling a hand on his hip and complaining as he breaks the kiss.]

You're wearing too much.

[He's not psychic enough to tell Crow is half passing out, he just wants to give back some of what Crow's given him. Not even that, he just wants to make Crow feel good almost as desperately as Crow wants to make him feel good.]

Hmmm... I guess that's true.

[He's glad Rean isn't psychic. Crow has no intention of backing down, after all -- he'll drag himself to the finish line without fainting or else. Right now that means sitting back to pull his shirt over his head -- and all associated layers since he's a layers master on par with Jusis.

It is a little weird, though. Rean's already felt his scars but he's a bit self-conscious of actually showing them. There are just so many, and some are still dark and fresh.]

[Rean will help as much as Crow lets him and as much use as it is to have someone helping. He's not going to comment on the scars, he's going to do his best not to draw attention to the fact that he notices them and hates them, dragging his fingers over Crow's chest without hesitation and leaning in to kiss his jaw while his hands drop to help work on his pants.]

[Crow is happy to let Rean help. He's more than happy to let Rean touch him as much as he wants. Of course he's scared at the same time, but it's Rean and that overrides most of it. As much as he wants to feel useful and effective he also wants to feel attractive and wanted -- who doesn't? He always did want that, but the old Crow was confident in his looks and in his general existence, and new Crow is pretty sure he's useless and disgusting, so he's a lot more sensitive to how he's being perceived.

He leans into Rean's hands without hesitation, letting Rean get his pants undone and then throwing his arms around his shoulders and, without warning, rolling them. He could have gotten off the bed to get the pants the rest of the way off, but this is more fun, and it's easier to not pass out when he's flopped on his back.]

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