This has spoilers for tocs 2 end game

[reanbeanmachine]

[Crow's wounds required immediate treatment, and while he was in the care of Heimdallr's hospital something went... Wrong. Word got out somehow who he was, leader of that terrorist group, the sniper whose bullet set off the war. Some bribes, some shady dealings, and before the intelligence agency or RMP could react, he was home from his room.

Luckily for Crow by the time he's kidnapped he's in stable condition, and his captors want him to recover, so he's been transported carefully. Where he finds himself though, well that's hard to say when he wakes up chained to a bed in a featureless room with no windows, and a drain on the floor. At least his bandages are fresh.]

Comments

[reanbeanmachine]

About time.

[It's been a long day, and for Crow, a longer month and a half. Rean gently pets his hair, still fighting the urge to hug him tighter.]

Want me to stay in here while you sleep?

[He's thinking pull up Crow's chair and read a book.]

[filetofish]

I'll be fine.

[He doesn't want to impose on Rean, for one, but for two he kinda wants to be alone just for a bit. Just long enough to cry without feeling exposed.]

I'll call you when I'm up.

[He's reluctantly disentangling himself. Very, very reluctantly.]

[reanbeanmachine]

Yeah, I'll be nearby. [No one watching, no cameras, actually alone for the first time in weeks, it'll be great, Crow. Rean is loosening his hold so Crow can pull out of his arms, but he has a hard time wanting to let go. Still, he gently lifts a hand and fluffs his hair, smiling in the best way he can right now.] Get some rest. I'm right across the way.

[filetofish]

...Thanks.

[He really, really means that. It's important to have time to himself, but it's also important that Rean is closeby. It feels safer, that way. He's less afraid of being hurt when Rean is in earshot.

He likes the hair fluffing, too, as embarrassing as it is. He's not going to pretend to be annoyed at this point, so instead he leans into it, like the semi-feral kitten Rean was just calling him.]

[reanbeanmachine]

[He turns the ruffle into a soft pet, smiling as reassuringly as possible.] Any time. Seriously, just yell if you need anything. [He doesn't want to go but also, he should let Crow sleep. So he gets up and heads out reluctantly, closing the door gently and then staring at in in protective agitation before he forces himself back to his own room. He leaves his door open though, so he doesn't miss a shout.]

[filetofish]

Will do.

[He's not going to do any shouting though. Today he's so incredibly exhausted that as soon as he's gotten comfortable he falls into a very deep sleep. He prooobably should be in the hospital, honestly -- he hadn't even been discharged when they took him -- but it'd only freak him out, so he's much happier to curl up here at home.

He's pretty much going to do nothing but sleep for a couple of days, actually. He gets up for necessaries like eating and using the bathroom but otherwise he's out. His energy reserves were beyond depleted. But on the fourth night he spends back home, he's well enough to dream. That means absolutely awful nightmares, his mind spitting out all the imagery of years of struggling and weeks of torture in twisted, terrifying ways.

He doesn't wake up screaming but only because even in the dream he's too petrified to make a sound. Instead he wakes up in a cold sweat, feeling chilly and empty and feeling the ghost of hands on his skin. He stays there for a few minutes, just trying to breathe, willing himself not to cry -- he's done crying. He's not a baby and he doesn't want to feel like one. But he can't banish the residual fear, and after some time trying and failing to go back to sleep he gets out of bed and goes across the hall.

He feels so childish. He should be able to deal with this alone. It's only his own feelings, after all -- it's only memories. But he doesn't want to be alone, so here he is knocking on Rean's door at 1am.]

[awakenerd]

[Rean's up the moment he senses Crow outside his door. He hasn't slept as deeply as Crow, worry keeping his slumber light, ready to react to any noise of threat or need from Crow's room. There hasn't been anything like that so far but still.

He opens his door in his loose pj pants and tshirt almost as soon as Crow finishes knocking.]

Hey. What's up?

[filetofish]

It's cold.

[A flimsy excuse but whatever. It's still technically winter and he can totally be cold. He still feels like (and looks like) a kid asking to get in his parents' bed because of monsters in the closet. He's visibly embarrassed but he brushes past Rean into his room as if he lives there, just because the rudeness makes him a little less self-conscious.

Rean's bed now has a shameless bird in it. He's not asking, he's just invading.]

[awakenerd]

[Okay well it's obviously not "cold" but Rean IS an older brother, he's probably been recipient of "the monsters under my bed/nightmares" bed invasions from Elise so he closes his door and walks back to the bed to sit down. This is fine.]

I guess it is.

[It's really not but Crow can have whatever excuse he wants.]

[filetofish]

[This is Crow's bed now. He's making himself comfortable -- with room for Rean, of course.]

Yeah. So come here.

[awakenerd]

[Okay. He'll come as close as Crow wants. It IS his own bed after all. So he's stretching out next to Crow.]

We wouldn't want you to freeze.

[filetofish]

Nope. Depriving the world of my handsome face is a tragedy Aidios would never forgive.

[Cuddling up to Rean, however, is a perfectly acceptable way to deal with being "cold". Of course cuddling brings its own host of issues but since Crow's initiating maybe he can deal with the reflexive terror.]

[awakenerd]

Right.

[It's gentle and indulgently amused but honestly he wants to hold his breath. He is holding very still, letting Crow nestle against him in whatever way he wants to, doing his best to be the most non-threatening warm pillow to cuddle that he can.]

Well let's try not to offend the Goddess then.

[filetofish]

Mm.

[Yeah this is definitely scary. But if it's Crow putting his arm over Rean, burying his face against Rean's shoulder, it's not so bad. It's frightening, but that's a thoughtless fear, and the real knowledge that Rean is safe outweighs it.]

...You don't have to be that careful.

[awakenerd]

Yeah?

[HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S OKAY. He takes a careful breath. He doesn't want to treat Crow like Crow's overly fragile, but yet he also doesn't want to do anything bad. The balance between giving Crow some normalcy and proving he has confidence in him and also being mindful seems tough to achieve. Not that he's not going to try.]

As long as you tell me if I do something wrong.

[So he's going to, carefully, slide his arm under Crow's head and gently place his hand on Crow's shoulder, holding him loosely.]

[filetofish]

I will.

[Crow is not up to fronting too hard at the moment. He shivers when Rean moves, but he adjusts to allow it, too. This is nice, actually, underneath the phantom pain just being in contact with another person brings.]

[awakenerd]

[He rubs his thumb lightly over Crow's arm, not really holding him tight even though he wants to. This is enough, Crow is warm against him, and solid and real and alive. And he hopes, eventually, this won't feel so fragile.]

Okay. You going to be able to sleep?

[filetofish]

Think so.

[Probably. Maybe. He'd rather be unable to sleep next to Rean than unable to sleep by himself, anyway, so it doesn't matter.]

If not I'll just draw on your face or something.

[See he's fine. If he can joke he's fine, right??]

[awakenerd]

Leave my face out of your insomnia.

[He sighs. But it's not testy or anything, just a comeback. He's settling a little more comfortably, carefully adjusting so it's not too abrupt but so he can actually get cozy enough to maybe fall back asleep himself.

Assuming he can sleep with Crow next to him. On the one hand, that seems safe and cozy and on the other he might be too aware of not wanting to jostle Crow.]

[filetofish]

We'll see.

[But he likes Rean's face! He's also pretty sure his attachment has gotten undeniably obvious, but he resists the urge to say anything cute for now. He's tired. Rean is tired. He's going to do his actual best to sleep.

And he does! In fact he falls asleep almost immediately -- he's more worn out than he is uncomfortable. Right now he could probably sleep through an explosion, so a little maybe-fake pain isn't stopping him.

He does dream more though. At first it's nightmares again, so he twitches and whines, but then Rean's warmth registers and instead he just clings onto him, without ever waking up. He's holding onto Rean like a life raft, and under his breath he mutters his name, not in distress but sweetly, with a soft smile on his sleeping face.]

[awakenerd]

[He's noticed but it's hard to think it's more than, well, trauma and fondness. He also notices when Crow starts twitching and whining, thinks about waking him up. But before he can Crow settles and Rean is just falling back asleep when hearing his name makes him look at Crow.

He expects Crow to be awake, but he blinks when he realizes that peaceful smile and slack expression means he's still asleep. But it doesn't seem like a nightmare he's being called in, so that's good.

It's hard not to just keep watching Crow's sleeping face after that, though.]

[filetofish]

[It's a cute sleeping face. Rean's warmth, his scent are seeping into Crow's dreams, colouring them with thoughts of him -- Rean, cutting through the horror and pulling him out. Rean, making that flat face while Crow teases him in the cafe. Rean, smiling at him as they talk about things Crow hasn't ever actually tried to talk about in real life.

His fingers twitch against Rean's side, the echo of an affectionate gesture.]

... mm ... Rean ... the most ...

[He's mumbling snippets, but it's a glimpse into his private thoughts that Rean may or may not want.]

[awakenerd]

[He's curious, absolutely. He also, absolutely, does not want to invade Crow's privacy. But waking Crow up seems like a bad option too.

It's a tricky situation, and he ends up carefully, gently lifting a hand to snag a pillow and shove it over his own face. Maybe that'll make it difficult to understand Crow's mumbles.]

[filetofish]

[They were soft, gentle mumbles. But then he shifts again, pulling Rean closer, and snickers against his chest.]

Hehe... it's soft.

[You're stuck with this Rean.]

[awakenerd]

[Save him.

But he doesn't want to wake Crow when he seems to be having good dreams so he just pulls the pillow off his face and stares at the ceiling, absently brushing his fingers through the wisps of Crow's hair.]