reanbeanmachine | This has spoilers for tocs 2 end game

[The odd thing is the recordings help, in a way. They're awful, and he's more than ashamed of himself, but seeing and hearing it over and over and over starts to make it background noise. It stops cutting so sharply.

Or maybe it's just that it's all been going on for so long that everything has blurred into a haze of pain and misery and exhaustion. No one thing hurts worse than another anymore. Begging means nothing. Crying means nothing. Struggling means nothing. Nothing he does changes anything, and none of it can hurt him any more than it already has.

After long enough he's gone a little dead inside. He's reacting to physical sensation, but emotionally he's down to two modes: dull disinterest and absolute fury. Sometimes he just stares at nothing, blankly allowing them to do whatever they want until pain or pleasure forces a reaction. Other times he screams and curses and fights like a feral cat, so angry he's past sassing and into psychotic violence. He absolutely has hurt someone by now, at least once. They can't keep him perfectly restrained at every moment and he's reached the point where self-preservation is not even on the list of considerations. Pain, too, is losing meaning. He isn't bothered by it until it's overwhelming, so there's none of a normal person's injury avoidance in the way he lashes out.

It's not that he doesn't feel other things deep down. It's just that the soft part of him has retreated so far in self-defense that those emotions aren't registering on a surface level. Reach down far enough and he's lonely and terrified, hurt and frustrated and sad and doubting himself. He's starting to wonder if he really does deserve even this kind of punishment. But those things are being thoroughly buried, so all his captors see in his eyes is emptiness, occasionally interrupted by a primal kind of rage.]

[It's a month, maybe two, before the intelligence division ferrets Crow's whereabouts out and then then RMP and Class VII arrive.

He can only hear the battle a little distantly, and then before anyone can stop Rean, Rean's entering the room and stopping with a gasp before marching to Crow's side, using the key he got off one of the people outside to unlock the cage Crow's in while Claire gives orders for the equipment in the room to be confiscated.]

Crow.

[He can hear fighting, and he zeroes in on it, but he doesn't let himself get his hopes up. He's stopped hoping already. It hurt. So when the door opens he goes on the defensive, backing himself into a corner and curling up.

Seeing Rean doesn't help. It just abruptly brings all the shame he'd buried back to the surface, and with that he's just... angry. Logically he knows there's nothing to be mad at Rean for, but he's not thinking logically. There's just a lot of unreasonably bitter thoughts -- why is Rean even here now? Where was he when Crow was calling for him? How dare he look at him with sympathy, like Crow's not totally strong and together and fine -- it just makes him feel not okay.

Crow's not going to be eagerly falling into Rean's arms, at least not while he's shocked and on edge. In fact he's straight-up avoiding him, even if Rean's just trying to get him free of all the restraints. It's not the best look on him -- battered and bruised and covered in scratches and welts, he's visibly lost weight and he's visibly not all there. He doesn't have anything sensible to say so he just says nothing.]

[It's been a tough month and some change. While Erebonia has been settling back into normal Rean has been trying to find Crow, desperate with worry and frustration at the lack of any progress for weeks, only to hear alarming news yesterday. He came, the whole class did, with Angelica and George and Towa outside, as soon as they could, and yet he knows it's not soon enough, and there's no excuse for that. Looking at Crow now, it takes every ounce of his own willpower not to lose control of the anger in himself, to keep calm and not tear back outside and rip through the men upstairs.

There's a glint of bright red in his eyes all the same, yet his voice stays measured as he follows Crow and reaches to undo his restraints regardless of Crow's wariness.]

I'm sorry I'm late.

[He really doesn't want to be seen like this. It's stupid, but he's furious just that Rean is being kind. That of course he's not alone and now all of Crow's friends are going to see him a mess. It's not fair on Rean but nothing in the last six weeksish has been fair on Crow so he doesn't give a shit. (He does actually, he's just decided not to.)]

Go away.

[Not the nicest thing to say to your rescuer but he's actually panicking at the very idea of how humiliating this could all be, and it's hard to direct that emotion. Rean is there and it's the thought of Rean pitying him, of Class VII seeing those tapes, that's making Crow upset, so it's Rean he's lashing out at. He looks every bit the hissing feral kitten just pulled out of a storm drain.]

Not a chance.

[He's getting the shackles off first, no matter how difficult Crow is being, and next is the collar before he shrugs off his coat and holds it out to Crow. He'll make sure they get real clothes for him fast, but for now this much is necessary to help Crow get some dignity back.

Hell Claire's already on ordering clothes brought in, he's pretty sure, but he's only keeping half an ear on the woman behind him, his whole attention really focused on the man in front of him.]

Not without you, anyway.

[He'll take the coat at least, though he's looking at Rean like he's expecting him to hit him and ready to hit back. It's dumb. He's tucking himself into the coat and breathing in Rean's scent, but he's also glaring at him like it's his fault Crow's in here.]

I don't need you. And if you don't get all those people out of here I'm going to kill them.

[He doesn't take his eyes off Crow but he does raise his voice.]

Claire, could we have some privacy? Just leave clothes inside the door.

[There's an affirmative and the room empties almost instantly on Claire's command. The door will only open again for someone to set clothes inside in a few minutes but otherwise it's just Rean and Crow.]

Okay. It's just us.

You too.

[He wants Rean's eyes off him stat. It feels like he's being stared through, and that's a vulnerability he doesn't like.]

I can wait outside if you want.

[But going out the door is the furthest he's willing to go, and only that much because there's literally no other exit to this room, not even an air duct to crawl through.]

Fine.

[Not fine but if it gives him some space he'll take it. He needs to destroy any recordings that haven't been taken away yet, for one.]

Just go.

[There's a lot he wants to say and do, like hug Crow, but he nods and steps back, giving Crow room as he heads out the door. He crosses his arms and leans against the wall by the door to wait. Unfortunately for Crow the RMP is real efficient so plenty of the recordings are already gone, but there's still some things he can smash, and clothes to put on. And an empty room of trauma to wreck all he wants before he has to go out and face Rean waiting for him.]

[Oh he's absolutely going to wreck it. Once Rean is gone he very calmly gets dressed, then picks up something hefty and just starts smashing. He doesn't give a single fuck if the RMP considers this evidence. Anything left in this room is going to be left in tiny pieces, even if it means giving himself more cuts and scrapes punching and stepping on things.

So there's a lot of breaking things noises. And also a lot of yelling because he has a lot of steam to blow off. He's not saying anything worth listening to he's just cursing and screaming and generally being a disaster.]

[Claire looks unhappy but she doesn't say anything. Rean just bows his head and listens, fists clenched, waiting out whatever Crow needs to do in there. He really doesn't know everything but the glimpse he had is bad enough, and being stuck here, in the hallway, while the RMP finish processing the arrests and the evidence and Crow vents and Rean has nothing to do but feel useless is pretty draining. But all he can do is wait, and talk quietly to Claire when she walks over.

On his insistence they'll give Crow to Class VII instead of arresting him. As long as Rean or a member of Class VII is with him 24/7.]

[He takes awhile. He has to smash everything, and hit the unsmashable things until his knuckles bleed. After that he has to take a moment to break down crying, overwhelmed by emotion that hurts every bit as bad as the torture had.

He does eventually come out. He's puffy-eyed and bleeding here and there and he leans heavily on the doorframe, but he's upright and that's doing pretty well. He's tired. The only reason he can move this much is adrenaline. He really ought to be on a stretcher but instead he's gesturing with the metal pipe in his hand, with raw pain and fury and nothing else in his eyes.]

Where are they?

[Rean is pushing away from the wall turning to look at Crow as soon as the door opens. But Claire is the one to answer first, frowning.]

They're in the RMP's custody. Which you would be, if Class VII hadn't made every case to have you back. I understand you're under a lot of strain right now, but you should go with your classmates.

[His anger is tempered just a little bit when he looks at Rean, because underneath the horror Crow absolutely adores Rean. Claire on the other hand he'd gladly have shot before all this so it's a real wonder he doesn't start swinging. It's not remotely hard to tell he wants to.]

Look, Lady Ironblood, I don't give a damn about due process. This isn't about you. I'm not pressing charges so unless they were doing something that's actually your business you should fuck off. And leave the tapes.

[He's not waiting for an answer. He's unsteady on his feet but he's still taking off to search for murder targets.]

[This is already going really not so great. Rean can't say he's not with Crow in wanting to hurt people right now but that's exactly why they can't. He steps in Crow's way, holding his arm out to block Crow as if his body weren't doing that enough.]

Crow. You can't. Leave them to the RMP. I know you're hurting and I know you want to pay them back, I do too and I haven't been the one suffering here. But if you go after them, Captain Claire is going to have to arrest you, and I don't think you need that right now. So just stop and come back with me.

Don't talk to me like I don't know what I'm doing!

[No way. Crow is not at all receptive to being talked down.]

This is their idea of justice. They don't care about the police so they're not going to be protected by them. End of story.

It doesn't matter what they think, Crow! Or how they'd do things. We're not them, you're not either. So we're not going to do things their way. We're not doing things lawlessly! Even if you get past me the RMP will arrest you before you get anywhere! So just for once in your life do things my way.

Hah! You really think I'm more like you than them? That's rich.

[He uses the pipe to shove Rean out of the way and try to walk past.]

If the RMP wants to defend these bastards they can try. I'm sure they'd love an excuse to take me down. Aidios knows they're probably jerking off to those recordings right now.

[Rean is a lot harder to brush aside than that, Crow should know by now. He's getting in Crow's way, again, this time, planting his hand ont he wall and setting his feet so Crow can't walk past without actually attacking him.]

No one is defending them. They're going to be brought to justice. Lawfully. I don't know exactly what happened, but I'm the last person who's going to sit aside and let them get away with hurting you.

But I'm not letting you do this, either. Even if I want really badly to help you right now, that would make us no better than them.

I'm already no better, in case you forgot.

[He can't bring himself to swing at Rean. Still, being stopped just makes him anxious. If he can't take out his feelings on the people who hurt him then they're going to boil over.]

You've done things I don't agree with. But I don't think for a second you're anything like the people who hurt you. Come home, please. I'm not moving anyway. so you might as well.

[He's stubborn, and patient, and mostly trying to keep the great amounts of distress he feels from showing, but it's still there, his concern and care for Crow obvious in his expression and voice, the upset he feels at this whole situation and even the relief to see Crow alive, tempered by his anger at how bad Crow looks.]

[He almost does hit Rean. He's not against fighting him, obviously, and he wants through. But after all that's happened he just can't. He missed him too much.

But if he can't kill those people then what does he do with his emotions? They're too much. He gives. He's nust going to sit on the floor.]

...I'm still not pressing charges. It's not their business.

[He doesn't want to be the victim in a trial. Talking to the cops sounds awful.]

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