This has spoilers for tocs 2 end game

[reanbeanmachine]

[Crow's wounds required immediate treatment, and while he was in the care of Heimdallr's hospital something went... Wrong. Word got out somehow who he was, leader of that terrorist group, the sniper whose bullet set off the war. Some bribes, some shady dealings, and before the intelligence agency or RMP could react, he was home from his room.

Luckily for Crow by the time he's kidnapped he's in stable condition, and his captors want him to recover, so he's been transported carefully. Where he finds himself though, well that's hard to say when he wakes up chained to a bed in a featureless room with no windows, and a drain on the floor. At least his bandages are fresh.]

Comments

[filetofish]

[Even that touch is a lot. Crow flinches, shivering and tensing, but doesn't pull away.]

You'll definitely know if I don't want it.

[Because he'll flip, of course.]

[reanbeanmachine]

I'd rather know from being told than making you uncomfortable.

[filetofish]

I'm not going to lie to you. I'm just saying. If you cross a line on accident it'll be clear.

[For now though Crow is really really cautiously turning his lean into a hug. While shaking like he's about to explode.]

[reanbeanmachine]

[Oh. Oh he wants to hug Crow so much.] Got it. ... Hey Crow? Can I hug you back or is this too much?

[filetofish]

[Crow wants to be hugged too. He's not sure if he can do it but he wants it so bad.]

You can.

[He'll just do his best not to panic too much.]

[reanbeanmachine]

[Carefully he raises his arms to circle them around Crow. Not too tight, easy to break out of if Crow jerks away, but he is going to give Crow the hug he's been desperately wanting to.]

[filetofish]

[There's so much shaking. He's practically vibrating out of his skin, but he doesn't pull away. He just shrinks against Rean, whining softly as he drops his face against his shoulder.]

...Sorry. Don't let go.

[reanbeanmachine]

[It's so sad, Crow shaking like he's scared, feeling practically fragile in Rean's arms even though he's a lot bigger than Rean. He keeps hold of Crow at the request, daring to very gently rub his palm over Crow's shoulders... Hm... What does this remind him of? Very carefully he tries rock-wiggling Crow a little.]

[filetofish]

--What are you doing?

[Okay that's a little distracting. Not a bad thing, being distracted, but what the hell?]

[reanbeanmachine]

Well, if you have a feral kitten, this helps them calm down.

[filetofish]

Do I look like a kitten to you?

[Excuse you he's a big scary birb!]

[reanbeanmachine]

Well, you are a little big. [That's the problem right, just being big.]

[filetofish]

And you're a little jerk.

[He'd push away from the hug on principle but a. he wants hugs and b. he's actually kind of paralyzed from it at the moment. Moving, at least at any speed, would be hard.]

[reanbeanmachine]

[He's not letting go until Crow freaks out or tells him to so it works out.] Yeah, well, I learned from the best.

[filetofish]

Hadn't you noticed I'm a bad influence?

[A bad influence who's also a shivering baby. But he's a baby who's clinging to Rean, too.]

[reanbeanmachine]

Yes, very corrupting. [He says that in a very "yes, dear" way, petting Crow's back as he keeps holding him. He can stay like this for hours if Crow wants, he's not going anywhere.]

[filetofish]

Asshole.

[He wouldn't argue with staying like this for hours, but also he cant physically do several hours. His insult is quiet, and his fingertips are twitching against Rean's back, his breaths uneven and occassional barely audible whining noises coming through.]

[reanbeanmachine]

[It worries him, how badly Crow is shaking. He's worried he's doing things wrong. But letting go also doesn't appeal. And yet Crow sounds close to a panic attack.] Hey... What can I do?

[filetofish]

Just don't move.

[That may be counter-intuitive but it's what Crow wants.]

I'm fine.

[No he's not and he did say he wouldn't lie, but--]

I don't want you to stop.

[reanbeanmachine]

[Fortunately Rean can read context so he takes Fine as "not immediately flipping my shit" and not as "fine". Still, he's both happy and upset. He wants to be here holding Crow, he's upset at the circumstances that have Crow shaking like a leaf in his arms. He keeps hold of him though, petting him gently.] Okay. I'm not going anywhere.

[filetofish]

[Crow really wants a tighter hug. He wants more than hugs in some part of him he's really grossed out by right now, but he mostly just wants the hugs. The problem is he is sure he'd have to break it off if Rean held him any tighter, so he's just being internally fussy.

Why can't he just get over it? Why is being held so amazing and so horrible at the same time? He wants to cling to Rean until neither of them can breathe but he also wants to run away and lock himself in a closet forever. He's so tired.]

...This really hurts.

[Being touched, but also just existing feeling this way. Physically, emotionally, he wishes he could just switch off the lights and not feel anything at all.]

[reanbeanmachine]

[He can't really read Crow's mind but he gets Crow doesn't mean literally. Well, probably. He would hug Crow tighter if he weren't scared of panicking him, bu instead he contents himself with the petting, from Crow's hair down his back, slow and rhythmic. Like soothing a cat.] I'm not an expert or anything but it probably will suck for a while. But that's why I'm here. Why everyone is here. So if you need anything, or I can help, or you just want to complain, I'll be here.

[filetofish]

[He does sort of mean it literally. But he's not specifying, and the emotional part is worse. He could deal with physical pain if he didn't also feel like a horrible person who's afraid of his own shadow.

Rean's hand down his back is both soothing and awful. It kinda hurts. It kinda feels good in the wrong way. It's not the gesture that's soothing though, it's knowing Rean's trying to help that's soothing. It's having Rean here, and the rest of their friends closeby.]

Mm. I think I'm gonna sleep for a week.

[reanbeanmachine]

[He's trying. He has no experience with what to do in this situation but he wants to do everything he can for Crow. So he might make mistakes, like not knowing what's actually hurting, but he wants to be a good, helpful presence, at least.] Yeah. Can't blame you. I'll bring you food when you're hungry but if you want to just laze in bed for a week I think that's pretty understandable.

[filetofish]

I'm going to. Honestly...

[Haha honesty. He's bad at it but right now he's so exhausted and miserable faking it is too hard.]

I think the adrenaline is wearing off.

[How did he even walk here? The last few days he's had to be forced to stand, but he did it a lot today. He even fought, and yelled, and trashed a room. But now that he's home the immediate instinct to keep moving or die has faded and he feels like he got run over by a tank.]