This has spoilers for tocs 2 end game

[reanbeanmachine]

[Crow's wounds required immediate treatment, and while he was in the care of Heimdallr's hospital something went... Wrong. Word got out somehow who he was, leader of that terrorist group, the sniper whose bullet set off the war. Some bribes, some shady dealings, and before the intelligence agency or RMP could react, he was home from his room.

Luckily for Crow by the time he's kidnapped he's in stable condition, and his captors want him to recover, so he's been transported carefully. Where he finds himself though, well that's hard to say when he wakes up chained to a bed in a featureless room with no windows, and a drain on the floor. At least his bandages are fresh.]

Comments

[filetofish]

[Goddess Rean is such a softie. Crow tightens his fingers in Rean's shirt, wanting to do more but too afraid to.]

...I thought about you every day.

[It's hardly more than a whisper, but it's there. Rean doesn't want to be clueless, and Crow thinks it's pointless but he may as well say it.]

Not just there. Every day since October.

[awakenerd]

[It's so hard not to turn around and face Crow. His voice is quiet but audible.]

Me too. I mean, I needed to find the others first, but after that, everything was all aiming to get you back. You were the goal, honestly, everything else was incidental.

[filetofish]

You're so soft.

[Oh Aidios please let him stay like this. He's burying his face against Rean's shoulder, willing himself not to cry.]

I really want to go away somewhere. I don't want to see anyone ever again, except you.

[awakenerd]

Crow...

[How is he supposes to stay facing the wall??? He manages, somehow, letting Crow cling to his back.]

Would that really make you happy? Everyone here really loves you. I... I really love you. I don't want to see this drive you into hiding, I want to ... I want to help be your strength.

[filetofish]

Why bother?

[He's so tired. So stressed. He can't even try to pretend he's not miserable and flattened.]

Everything I ever did was useless. I still want to kill that guy, but I'm in a corner. It freaks me out to be around people, anyway. I'd rather just disappear.

[awakenerd]

Maybe... Maybe the things you did for revenge did end up useless. But is that all you can think you've done with your life? It might not have been the goal you cared about, but you've done so much for the people of Trista, the students of Thors, for us, your classmates, for me... I can't remotely think of the things you've done as useless.

[filetofish]

I don't care.

[Not about what good he's done. Not about whether or not he's loved. He just wants to get away from himself and from the prying eyes of people who either hate or pity him.]

I'm not up to pretending to be happy anymore. I just want to be left alone.

[awakenerd]

No one wants you to pretend to be happy. And you don't have to go anywhere. I'll be right here. Later, if you still want to go somewhere far away, I'll go with you.

[filetofish]

How much later is later?

[They could go RIGHT NOW.]

[awakenerd]

When you've recovered enough to go out more.

[If you can prove you can go out and still wanna disappear, fine.]

[filetofish]

[This is the saddest disgruntled growl ever.]

I don't want to go out. Ever.

[awakenerd]

I know.

[It'd be cute if not for... everything...]

[filetofish]

So don't tell me you'll let me leave when I don't want to anymore. Just... let me.

[awakenerd]

...Crow... I don't... Know what to do. I want to make you happy. I don't think just leaving will work.

[filetofish]

It's not like I can't come back if I want to.

[awakenerd]

You can't leave without me, or at least one of the class, and I don't think, they'll let me...

[filetofish]

So convince them. What am I going to do? Panic at them?

[awakenerd]

...

[He chokes back a laugh but honestly getting them to let Crow live, to let Crow be here and not in a cell, is a major victory, and yet he now feels like he's not done enough. Like he's failed Crow majorly. He digs his fingers into his arms and breathes in slowly.]

I'll talk to them.

[filetofish]

...Thanks.

[Cause he's pretty sure if he has to keep being around people he's going to throw himself off of something.]

[awakenerd]

I can't... Promise anything.

[filetofish]

I know. But I appreciate the effort.

[awakenerd]

...Crow... You going to be able to sleep?

[filetofish]

No.

[Nah he's too keyed up.]

But it's fine. You sleep.

[awakenerd]

No. I like talking to you. I just don't know what to do, for you.

[filetofish]

You can sleep. I don't really want to talk anymore.

[He's not mad. He's just stressed and tired and wants to be alone. He's only here because Rean was so sad about it... and he does like being close. He just also finds it exhausting, and yet too scary to sleep though.]