reanbeanmachine | This has spoilers for tocs 2 end game

Okay.

[He does believe in Rean. Even if he can't convince himself it's safe, he can at least convince himself that Rean will do his best to make it be. That's as good as it's going to get, so he takes a deep breath and tries to gather himself enough to talk.]

...The chancellor is working with the group that makes archaisms, and gave weapons to the noble alliance and the ILF. That group can make artificial humans... Actually, I don't know the details, but that's where Millium & Altina came from. What they showed me is that they can use someone's remains to make a copy. It's the same person, but not. They can even control memories. They told me if I didn't cooperate, they'd kill me and recreate me.

[Of course a threat like that is frightening, but not enough to get the kind of meek compliance Crow's been showing lately. It certainly helped in the process, though.]

[He tries to keep his breathing even, does absolutely keep hold of Crow too tightly. He's not as surprised as he should be, probably, about the artificial humans. He's already kind of pieced together what Altina and Millium are, somehow. It doesn't make sense but there's also no other thing those two could be.

But the idea that a living person could be reconstructed, their memories changed and used on them like this, that's another level of horror on it.]

I won't let them touch you again.

Thank you.

[He is grateful. He's going to try to believe it, too. But right now he's still deeply unsettled and, while he's also totally exhausted, he doesn't want to move an inch.]

...I'm kind of tired...

Sleep in here.

[It's not entirely a request but it's not an order, either. He's not going to make Crow sleep in his bed but he can't imagine Crow sleeping anywhere else. Across the hall is too far.]

Okay.

[Maybe he's a little too agreeable. Last time he tried sleeping next to Rean it had mixed results, and that was ages ago. Buuut he's scared to be alone just as much as he wants to be alone, so he's not arguing.]

I should tell you... They know I'm here. I'm supposed to be back in Heimdall in two days.

...Why the hell do they need you back?

To fight.

[That whole public fealty swearing bullshit was more than just for show. Although Crow doesn't look in any condition for combat. He looks worn ragged, like he'd collapse with a strong gust of wind.]

No. No way.

[He won't allow it. He gently shoves Crow back like an inch so he can look at him.]

Even if you didn't look like complete hell.

[He doesn't look good at all. Definitely not like he spent his time in jail healing from the previous torture, that's for sure.]

That's the only reason I'm alive, you know.

Whatever they want you for, I'll take on. If that's not acceptable I'll fight them myself and get us both out of Erebonia.

[Well. Rean did say he wouldn't let Crow be taken back. Crow's not going to complain, since he honestly doesn't want to do the chancellor's dirty work anyway. He's just going to be super nervous about it, to put it mildly.]

...I don't think they'll let me take it easy. But I'd be a shit friend if I abandoned Ordine after everything, so either way we have to get him out of wherever they stashed him.

[He's spent four years now psychically connected to this robot. There's no hesitation in saying he's a friend Crow wants to do right by.]

I'll see what I can do.

[He's not set on fleeing the country yet. As long as he can keep Crow with him, in his sight, he has the leverage to get some of what he wants. He can always stash Crow in Valimar when he can't stay with him.

His father may be scarily powerful but Rean isn't without his own friends in high places, and Crow, defanged, with Rean a willing hostage and minion to keep him that way, can't be enough of a threat to Osborne, even with Ordine, to risk losing Rean and the faith of Rean's many, many friends.]

[Rean's right. He does likely have the leverage to keep Crow safe if he tries. He'd just have to take on all the jobs that Osborne thought he'd reject, or doesn't really want to send him on, that Crow's got better skills for. Unsavory, ugly, underhanded jobs. Crow doesn't want to see that happen.]

I don't know what your plan is, but... I don't want you to argue with him for me.

I'm not letting you go back there. So of course I'm going to argue with him for you, Crow. I've failed to keep you safe too many times already. This time I won't.

If it was work you're suited to, they wouldn't have put so much time and effort into reforming me.

[He reaches up to brush Rean's hair back, gentle, fingers trembling slightly (from nerves or physical strain he no longer knows).]

I don't want to go back, and I trust you to take care of that. But I'm not worth you getting hurt. You don't know what that kind of work will do you, Rean.

[He leans into the touch, placing a palm over Crow's hand.]

You're worth anything. Crow. Just let me worry about protecting you from now on, okay? I'm not weak.

[He's aware that there's a lot of underhanded things he could be asked to do that would.... Hurt him, a lot, probably, but if he has a reason, if he really can protect Crow, he'll do a lot of things for that. If it comes down to having to take Crow and Ordine and flee the country, he'll do that too, but it's the last resort.]

I'm not either.

[Is he? Maybe he is. He definitely feels weak, needing to be protected. He can't even deny he needs it, when he's shaking just at the idea of standing up on his own.]

Since when am I the kind of delicate person who needs you to sacrifice yourself protecting me?

I never said you were weak!

[He cups Crow's face in his hands, trying to get across his frustration.]

Just let me protect you this time. Everyone needs it sometimes. Even the strong break under enough pressure. But you haven't yet. So don't push it.

["But you haven't yet", says Rean. And yet as soon as his voice raises Crow totally deflates. It's not even yelling. Rean's not truly angry. But conflict is scary and Crow can't handle it.]

...Okay.

[He hates this so much. He hates himself so much.]

[Well that way they're alike. But self-loathing isn't going to protect Crow from his father and so Rean eases immediately, touch never not gentle, but it gets gentler.]

Okay. Just... Just rest for now and I'll start figuring it out in the morning, okay?

Mm.

[Sure that's fine. Crow's just going to flop over right here, regardless of Rean touching him or the face that he hasn't even taken his shoes off.]

[Okay well he's going to sit on the bed next to Crow.]

....I'm glad you're here.

...Yeah.

[He's not though. He's upset that he's going to make Rean's life harder. He's upset that he can't do the things he used to. He feels like a waste. There's nothing to look forward to. If it weren't for the threat of replacement he'd absolutely try to die. But, y'know, replacement, so he's just rolling over with his back to Rean and becoming a listless puddle.]

[He's kicking off his own shoes and then flopping in bed next to Crow, turned to face Crow's back, lifting a hand to stroke Crow's hair because Crow is real and here and he wants to start crying again just out of relief and pain at everything he couldn't stop.]

[Crow's exhausted but he won't sleep. It's taking all his effort not to show how uncomfortable he actually is right now, and he's got way too much on his mind.

He pretends to fall asleep fast, though. He doesn't want to talk. They can fight in the morning.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject