reanbeanmachine | gross au

[He's certainly not gonna resist the shove. He couldn't make himself even if Rean wasn't really unfairly strong like this. Instead he just sits there where he landed, rubbing his face with his hands and trying to figure this out.]

Damn it all... Look!

[He's getting back up on his knees, to pat the inside of the tub. He even turns it on! See, it's filling up again!]

I just want you to wash off, asshole!

[Yeah eerie snarling is his response, very predictable.

Rean's not being cooperative at all, and all the tension that left him while Crow chattered endlessly is back in force, so it's probably not going to work for now.]

[SIGH! Great. Way to fuck that up Crow. Now everybody's having an even worse day!]

Fine. Okay. I'll back off.

[He lets the tub finish filling, then turns off the tap, carefully stands up and backs away, with his hands up. Look, he's giving you space, Rean! He's also trying not to show that he's shaking, nauseous at the feeling of having set this off, at remembering feeling that same terrified fury radiating off of Rean -- hell, he hasn't actually stopped feeling it himself. He knew he was going to push that button but he'd hoped he could just, y'know, get it over with and be done.

But no. He's just backing up til he finds the opposite wall, then sitting down heavily and scrubbing at his face. He wants to curl into a ball but he doesn't want Rean to see him do that, so instead he sits cross-legged and tries to look frustrated instead.]

[Rean doesn't stop watching him, tense and wary. The water goes cold but Rean never looks away from Crow.

Eventually though, when Crow looks like he might have nodded off, Rean slides down from wherever he's wedged himself and approaches the bath kind of sideways, still watching Crow unblinkingly.

When he reaches the tub he finally stops watching Crow to look down at the water, kneeling to put a hand in it.

Something in him... Hurts. Horribly. And he drags his hand back to stare at it then glare at the water before glancing at Crow to ensure he hasn't moved.]

[It takes awhile but he does eventually fall asleep. He's afraid to move in case he upsets Rean more, but he's fucking exhausted so he just quietly chases himself around his own head until he finally droops, and that's about that.

He's out.]

[As long as Crow stays still and asleep Rean will eventually get himself undressed and clean.

He pulls the ruins of his clothes back on and drains the tub, and eventually settles a few feet away from Crow, close enough to just tuck his chin on his hand and watch him intently, staring at him unwavering. He's not tired, and he's not restless, there's not much going on in his brain except for emotions.

Some things hurt, some things are frightening, but the person in front of him both hurts and soothes. Feels safe and terrifying. He doesn't have words or anything else within him to try to figure himself out, his consciousness is just.... Something. Chaos. But looking at Crow's face puts him the most at ease he can be, and so, this is how Crow will wake, with Rean pretty close, just staring at him. Maybe dry, maybe still damp, but at least no longer covered in blood or anything else gross.]

[Somehow he sleeps through the creepy staring. Mainly because he's just that tired. When he wakes up his neck kinda hurts, so he grumbles, rubbing at it, as he blinks blearly up at--

--well that's fucking terrifying?! Or at least really startling. Enough that Crow jumps, and a short but very undignified and high-pitched scream pops out.]

[Rean also... Startles. Look it went from zoning out looking at Crow's face to Crow screaming so he just leaps back and up, tense.]

[For a few second he sits there, backed up tight against the wall, staring wide-eyed at Rean while his brain catches up.

Once it does though, he starts laughing. It's just too absurd not to.]

Ahaha-- What were you doing?!

...

[He. How do you communicate if you can't? Words? He stares at Crow, almost... frustrated? At least he's attempting some kind of expression.]

[Somehow that's actually.... really cute. Crow's trying to catch his breath and failing, but he also beckons Rean closer, not getting up in case it causes more upset. Come here you crazy feral fucker.]

I guess I should be flattered you like me so much. C'mere, Rean.

[He... Steps towards Crow, warily, like, dude he'll bite if you try to strip him again.]

[Nah he's just patting the spot next to him. Come sit with him he's keeping his body language very chill!]

It's okay. I won't do anything scary. I promise.

[He does approach warily, eyes narrowed, sitting next to Crow cautiously. He's. More expressive already, than he was earlier, but there's still nothing quite Rean in his eyes, just totally fucked up. But whatever is wrong with him, he's trusting Crow.]

[And Crow appreciates that, given he's seen what happens when this Rean doesn't trust you. It's not very nice.

Still, the trust is definitely... bittersweet. He knows more than anyone how that feels, to be drawn to someone and not understand. To be lost, to be angry... He doesn't want Rean to have to feel all those things. And yet he's grateful for it, because it means he's making an impact, in some small way.

He's going to try really hard to be kind and cautious. It's not his normal MO but it's what Rean seems to need, and the thing Crow needs is Rean. So he's going to slowly and carefully drop his hand onto Rean's head and pet him, giving him a tender smile that's still, despite his best efforts, terribly sad.]

You're a pain like this... but you're kind of cute. The same as always, isn't it?

[He's. Tense. Wary. But the fact that all Crow does is pet his hair has him cautiously relaxing and leaning towards Crow, until all at once he flops on him, leaning on his side, demonic eyes closing.

So he likes petting, and maybe he's also tired from being in constant stress mode.

Hey if Crow's lucky Rean will wake up himself. Of course this isn't meant to be, but he seems willing to just relax on Crow in this uncomfortable position on the floor.]

[It's.... It's weird, actually, watching Rean relax. He looks more like himself. There's a big part of Crow that wants to hug him tight and not let go until he hears that familiar voice say his name. But he can't. That won't fix it -- he tried the hugging thing, and he's already sworn not to let Rean see that he's hurting so much. He's got to get better at covering it up. Can't let anything out, for both their sakes.

So he's not going to jostle Rean with clinging, and he's not going to let himself collapse. He's going to sit here pretting Rean til his legs go numb and his arm's sore though, for the chance to feel Rean's warmth.

He almost dozes off again, but there's a knock at the door. Whether Rean gets up when Crow wriggles out from beside him or not, he's being very cautious in approaching. Goddess knows what might show up. Ultimately after some clever peeking he unlocks the door and cracks it open to growl under his breath at the people on the other side.]

What do you want? We already arranged everything.

[The voice, if Rean's up and can hear it, is the landlord's. He starts out mundane -- introducing the building manager, as a guy who can get you what you need... He's in the business of providing for people. Which of course sounds shady to Crow but then the guy's introducing himself and casually drops Crow's name, and that's when things get tense.]

...Hold on a sec.

[Stiff from head to toe Crow shuts the door, then comes over to tug Rean up and gently shove him towards the basement.]

You need to go downstairs. Now.

[Rean makes a complaining noise at the knock already, and gets progressively more tense as the voices continue and as Crow gets more tense, until there's a low, guttural noise building in the back of his throat and he basically radiates murder.

He lets Crow touch him, but he doesn't move after he's standing, glaring at the door.]

[The upside to being the mess Crow is right now is that he's not afraid of being killed, so that kind of narrows down the number of things to be afraid those men are going to do. The downside is he's more freaked out than he'd usually be in general -- not just because he's been hurt in the last few days but because he's been reminded that if he gets caught they can erase him all over again. Maybe they wouldn't have done it just for struggling, but they'll sure as hell do it for escaping with Rean and tearing through the troops, and he can't take the chance that they'd get better at it the second time.

But it's actually Rean he's more afraid for. Rean's soft. Rean's already been pushed to this kind of breaking point -- if they got caught, if Rean got hurt more, what if he could never come back?

He does a pretty good job of hiding the fear but he can't hide the tension. He figures pushing Rean harder could backfire so instead he's gently taking his face in his hands, trying to get Rean to look him in the eyes.]

Rean, no. Look at me. We can't get caught here. You have to hide, and don't come out unless I call you. ...Please understand me.

[He goes... Still. The tension is keying him up real bad but more in a way that he's ready to just fight whoever is on the other side of the door than anything.

It's debatable how well he understands Crow but he does make a noise that sounds kind of like... disagreement and protest? You know, except echoey and insane.]

Shh.

[It's hard to breathe steady but he's forcing himself to. No one's even made a threat but he just... knows. Whatever's about to happen, it's going to suck. But he can't can't can't let them get taken in, and if they go murdering people it's going to get harder and harder to hide. He's got to try to avoid that, too.

He doesn't know how to soothe Rean but he's trying resting his forehead against Rean's, making quiet, soothing shushing noises and praying he's got time to get Rean safely hidden.]

It's okay. I won't die again. You already won me back, right? Even if you don't remember right now... Trust me. I love you.

[That's something he's only ever said once -- that one golden night where he let himself pretend they could be together, back before he left Rean. But it's still true, even when Rean's like this. Even when Crow didn't remember. He'd regretted letting it slip that time, but he's saying it deliberately now, in an attempt to reach the real Rean under the surface.]

[Words continue to be impossible to understand, but meaning isn't. He calms down. Doesn't get less tense because raw animal instinct is telling him to murder whoever's on the other side of the door but he seems, you know, calm enough to push into the basement, probably.

Odds of him staying there if Crow makes any discernible noises of distress in his hearing are very low though.]

Thank you.

[And Rean goes into the basement. Which, fortunately, has a really solid metal door with a really solid lock cause Crow knows he won't stay put. He's gonna not think about the probable human trafficking that's gone on in here cause he can't do anything about it and right now it's convenient to lock Rean in! Which he does.

And then he goes to open the door properly. The basement is designed not to let sound out but it doesn't let a lot in, either, so Rean's stuck hearing snippets. What he does get isn't great, though.

He should be able to sense there's four or five people coming in, but voices are, at first, kept low. It's a faded murmur, mostly Crow talking to the building manager, with a few interjections from other voices. After a few minutes though, Crow's voice is way clearer, startled and audibly upset.]

--What?! No way in hell!

[But the other voices stay calm, and his quickly drops back down, though Rean can probably feel the negativity rising in the room. The quiet echo of Crow's voice is harsh, angry leading into frightened, while everyone else is just... calm. Even without hearing words or understanding them it's easy to tell who's got the advantage.

It slowly rises in pitch again, and then there's the sudden rustling and crash of a physical struggle.]

No! Get your hands off me! I'll take that damned job, but I won't--

[That's cut off, as everything goes quiet... and then the sound of footsteps approaches the door. The building manager's voice is calm and smooth, arrogant, audible because he's right there, within arm's reach of the door.

"It's a lot of money you're asking me to give up, Crow. If you won't work for it, then..."

There's the slight metallic noise of someone touching the lock. Then another crash, another brief shuffle and it's Crow who's there -- Rean can feel him, back pressed against the door, radiating panic as he stands between Rean and something he's deeply terrified of.]

Okay! Okay. Fine. Just-- ...Not here.

[The only audible response to that is laughter. On the other side of the door Crow's found himself cornered, but he won't call for help. This isn't something Rean can fix. But he is at least taking a moment to turn and rest his head against the door, knowing Rean can't see it but still echoing the pose he'd taken with him just a few minutes ago. No matter how Rean rages the door won't break, but Crow's voice isn't comforting. He sounds miserable, addressing Rean as if it'll be understood.]

...I'll be right back. Don't worry, okay? No matter what, I'm gonna protect you.

[He tries to get out as soon as the tension rises, hackles up.

Finding his literally unable to move the door, by tearing it open or kicking it down even with his strength, he starts to snarl. It drowns out some of what's audible but it's not like anyone on the other side can hear Rean literally screaming.

He's still not in his right mind but that doesn't stop him from knowing he hates whatever is happening. He doesn't have to be lucid or sane to be deeply upset, and in a way it's kind of worse not quite understanding why he so desperately needs to murder whoever is on the other side of the door with Crow.

But he can't even get out, and maybe, with his forehead pressed to the door, Crow can hear him screaming, but maybe he can't, maybe the soundproofing is too good, either way it makes no difference. Rean won't stop throwing himself at the door and trying to get out until Crow gets back anyway.]

[He's gone for about four hours. On the upside for Crow only three of those hours were absolute hell and the rest was shopping. He feels disgusting using money that was thrown at him this way (quite literally -- he had to pick the cash up off the floor as he tried to pick himself up off the floor) but it's all he has. The only things he was carrying when they ran were necessities -- bandages, medicine, that towel. He wasn't given spending money as Siegfried.

So he's using the money. Even though he's been extorted into selling himself for it, in more ways than one. Because he hasn't eaten in two days. Because neither has Rean. Because they were both wearing scraps. Because if he doesn't give in they'll be turned in, or Rean will be hurt -- and Rean's a crazy demon but as far as Crow knows his body isn't immortal. Crow's in a lot of pain, but he knows he won't die no matter how badly he's beaten or what illicit substances are forced into him. Not that Rean would go down easily, but letting him go on a murder spree would both get them caught and give Rean even more to hate himself for when he comes back, so that's off the table. And thus, Crow spends an hour flitting from shady shop to shady shop buying the cheapest possible supplies with coins that feel far heavier than they actually are.

He has to keep his head down and look normal. He doesn't want to get noticed, and collapsing would be pretty noticeable. So he stays hunkered in the ratty jacket they'd given him, thinking slightly hysterically that he never hit this kind of low even when he was a kid all alone with no home and that's just hilarious. Also hysterically, he's getting the rising sense that he's some kind of stranger in his own body. It's not really his. He's dead, so it doesn't matter how this empty corpse gets used--

About ten minutes of his time out is spent in an alleyway, laughing and crying at the same time until he pukes. But he's pulled himself together by the time he gets home, at least well enough not to look like he's sick with pain and also with some kind of shady experimental street drug that's got him feeling dizzy and anxious and out of sync with himself. It's better now than when he took it, though. He doesn't even remember the first hour. He was on another planet. Now he just feels generally shitty, but he manages to at least work up to being quietly dead inside by the time he lets Rean out. Can't do anything about smelling horrible though.

When he opens the door he's already braced for impact, but he's not remotely in the condition to actually take one.]

I'm back.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject