reanbeanmachine | gross au

gross au

[Once upon a time, perhaps, a man named Giliath Osborne had been a good man, a kind father, a loving husband, a good soldier. That was a long, long time ago, long forgotten. These days, there was merely the Blood and Iron Chancellor. A man hellbent on a goal, ready to use everything to achieve it.

Currently, the latest tool from his little workshop was standing in his office facing him with a familiar face, but an unfamiliarly blank expression.

"Siegried" was the name of the doll in front of him, a creature with uses. Already, standing in front of Osborne was plenty of proof that this boy was only a shell that resembled a person, an empty vessel whose memories were sealed away.

He ran his fingertips over the boy's cheek, watching for any reaction, any flinch or concealed disgust. Nothing. Obedience. Perfect.

There was more he could test for this, and if that proved successful, this doll could be useful in very many ways indeed. His fingers lifted a lock of white hair, let it slide over his knuckles as he pulled his hand away.]

Siegfried, I want you to kneel.

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[Rean is even good about being cleaned up and getting dressed, maybe because of the drugs or maybe because Crow's so urgent about it, or maybe both, but he's not difficult. He isn't helpful but he's not getting in Crow's way or delaying things by being a pain.

Luck is on their side, no cops show up by the time they're making their getaway. And as long as Crow can sneak them out of the city they could very well just... Make it. The world's in a messy state, so security is tighter getting into the capital than it is heading out.]

[The thing is, the actual paths in and out of the city are definitely watched. They could go through an underground passage but those are full of monsters that Crow's not up to fighting. So they have to be very sneaky. They have to try to look like normal people when they're both in bad shape and Rean has a spooky demon face.

The best way to do this, Crow thinks, is to stick to the bad parts of town where if people think they're a couple of junkies it won't actually cause notice. From there he finds a place to hang out near a gate, then drags Rean into a group of workers headed outside for some job or another. He stays close, and tries to keep Rean from growling or looking at anyone.

Eventually they do get out. But that's only because when a solider gives them a funny look and starts to ask a question Crow just grabs Rean's hand and bolts. Which will get them pursued but not for very long since they don't look like a threat, they look like scruffy drunks.]

[At least they're out. And from here, well, there's more choices of places to go that are more... Peaceful, even in the world like it is. At the very least bumming it across the countryside is probably going to be less of a toll, if Crow can hold out long enough to get somewhere remote and sustainable.

Rean at least is, in fact, pretty easy to kidnap and goes along without fuss as long as he's close to Crow, leaning on him whenever they rest.]

[Crow... may have a hard time getting very far. Running like that is a lot in his condition, which just makes him angry because he knows how strong he's supposed to be. He doesn't like feeling fragile, but he's swaying on his feet pretty quickly, as soon as he doesn't have to keep running to live.

They can reach a farm, at least, but then Crow's climbing over the nearest fence and finding a hay pile to flop into.]

[Rean is too high to do anything but follow Crow and curl up next to him, actually looking like he might sleep for once? He's never fallen asleep in front of Crow, always too busy staring at him.]

[Now that's wild. Sleepy Rean is cute, but Crow is really very tired and unhappy right now so he doesn't have the energy to do more than pet him a little as he, too, dozes off. Later they'll have to actually find somewhere safe, but for right now they're just gonna be weird hobos sleeping in someone's hay.]

[It's probably night by the time Crow wakes up, and by then Rean's awake and staring at him, as per usual. At least he hasn't wandered off, and all his injuries seem to have healed with the nap.

On the other hand Crow's likely not as lucky, even with his sturdy body.]

[He won't die but he sure doesn't have speed-healing. He's almost jealous, because when Crow wakes up he's still tired and sore all over and in bad need of rest and actual, y'know, food and water. But he's been sore and exhausted and mostly hungry for awhile so it's not exactly new. It's just that his calves are unusually achey today.

It's weird that seeing that stare is comforting.]

...Hi.

[Teach your dog to steal and he'll fetch, Crow. But for now he is just staring, no response as usual, but you know, waiting for Crow to.... Direct what they do.]

[Right now the answer appears to be "groan uncomfortably while forcing ourselves to get out of the hay". But once he's up (with hay all stuck in his clothes and hair), he rubs his face a little and starts to think. His stomach is growling but he's trying to ignore it.]

Okay... Maybe if we head far enough north...

[They could... try to find Rean's family? Would that help?]

[Ymir at least would likely be... Better than here. Rean seems to have no opinions though, simply leaning forward to nuzzle Crow in almost affection? Maybe he's trying to be comforting.]

[Rean gets pets like the good(?) dog he is. Crow meanwhile is staring off into the distance, trying to think about the right action to take without thinking about how spooked he is. He still can't afford to have a breakdown.

After a few moments he just starts walking. Fuck roads. They're dangerous. He's gonna make a bee line for the mountains. They will of course eventually have to steal to eat. But he leaves Rean tucked somewhere safe when he does it, for the sake of silence and his really messed up priorities. Sleep is generally under some bushes or something, Crow trying to leave as little trace of them as he can. But if it rains he'll make a lean-to.

It's gonna take a couple of weeks to get there, but on the upside Crow's not really getting worse anymore, physically. He's just not getting better. This kind of traveling is hard on the body, and he's pushing himself way too hard for a guy who's barely eating and is still giving blood every day (he insists). The question is: will Rean find himself before they find Ymir?]

[It's halfway to Ymir, while they're resting in an abandoned shack, over the course of one night while Crow's sleeping, that Rean... Finally comes back.

It's been happening gradually, honestly. Maybe he would have a while ago if the situation hadn't been so shitty in Heimdallr. But on the road, it's tough but it's not getting worse, and Rean can kill any monsters they encounter with ease, letting Crow get some rest so that, while Crow isn't really recovering, nothing gets... Worse.

And that's enough for the fight and survival and rage to start uncoiling day by day, so that while he watches Crow sleep, more of him returns, clawing out of the abyss of his own mind.

It might wake Crow up, when Rean lurches away from his side to stumble outside and throw up. Or try to. There's nothing in him but blood and he doesn't... Actually want to waste what Crow's sacrificed so he just ends up pressing a hand to his mouth to prevent it and wretching.]

[He doesn't hear Rean get up but he does hear the door, the part of him that's always on guard keying in and snapping him awake. There's immediate fear when Rean isn't there staring at him. Rean's supposed to be there -- the only time he wasn't, it was awful. So he's up and looking for Rean in seconds, and when he hears the wretching he's... confused. But not as alarmed as he was, so instead of the door flying open it creaks slowly, Crow peeking out with dark circles under his eyes.]

...Rean?

[Rean's not entirely lucid yet. It's been over a month since he was himself and it's... Disorienting, to say the least. He has a broad sense of everything that's happened, everything they've been through, that Crow's been through, but he's still processing it when Crow appears, too soon, he's not ready for this.

He's not ready to remember most of what he remembers. But he'd at least like to figure i out before...But Crow's already here.

So he replies weakly, the first use of his voice for anything other than mindless animal noises since before he went insane, and the first time he's even tried to say words since he tried to say Crow's name that one time.]

Mm'fine.

You're not-- Hey. Look at me.

[Rean's... talking? Sort of? Crow's not ready to hope too hard but... Actually he's feeling more apprehensive and that surprises him. It's that weird, unexpected, uncomfortable fear curling in his stomach that keeps him from actually approaching, to hold Rean like he otherwise would.

Internally he's telling himself he's an idiot. Why is he afraid that Rean might be himself? He doesn't know, but he is, and even if he wasn't he needs to see Rean's eyes.]

[Sort of. Sort of talking. He looks up though, partly just... He's used to doing what Crow's voice says, at this point. But he also doesn't feel like not looking at him. It's looking at Crow that's kept him alive and brought his sanity back in some form or other.

He hasn't even gotten to... Talk to Crow, and Crow remembers him, now that it's all piecing back together, and it's all so fucked up.

His eyes aren't demonic, though they're bright and red.]

[Well there it is. Maybe not all the way but Rean's back, and Crow's not ready. It's like some kind of switch goes off in his head -- he goes pale, and suddenly lurches forward to grab Rean's arm and try to drag him inside.

Not that he's going with him. He's just... putting him away? Yeah. There's no way he can face Rean but he has to protect Rean so if someone's going to be outside it's going to be Crow.]

[He's not resisting mostly out of complete confusion. He's still figuring hos shit out and it's getting more upsetting by the second so it doesn't register that he's being... Crated???? Again??? until he's inside and Crow is outside and that's a bad fucking feeling.]

Crow--

You look like you need a nap.

[He says way too quickly. There's not an actual lock on this door so he's just sitting down on the other side with his back to it while he loses his sad little bird mind.

He should be happy! He is happy. But he's spent the last many weeks suppressing a lot of emotions that are all suddenly boiling up. He knows Rean, the real Rean, won't let him pretend. He won't let him bury it, even as poorly as he has been. That's... threatening. So is the idea of watching Rean react to all the ways in which Crow failed to keep him safe, failed to keep him from doing things he'd regret.

Everything is Crow's fault and now he's going to have to answer for it, in watching Rean suffer and in having the lid torn off his own suffering. And he knows all too well that Rean won't even blame him, will just worry about him, and that'll hurt even worse than if he got mad and took it out on him.

So he's gonna sit out here and hyperventilate and maybe (definitely) cry.]

[Okay yeah he's. Freaking out but at least Crow freaking out more obviously gives him something to snap his focus onto immediately over the whole... Everything. That's happened. And the fact that he's some kind of blood-sucking vampire monster now, in fact, that's also a thing on top of rape, being a murderer, and watching Crow get fucked up for a month--all on top of losing Millium and failing Valimar and Class VII and it's a lot.

But Crow is here and remembers him and is fucked up and having a hard time and has done a lot and been through way worse protecting him for the last month so he shoves on the door.]

Let me out, Crow!

No!

[Nope he can't handle it. He's curling up into a ball with his back pressed against the door and putting his hands over his ears. This way he can just pretend Rean's not talking. He's trying to keep quiet himself, but there's only so silent you can be while crying your eyes out and having trouble breathing. Crow's actually done quite well to keep from having this kind of panic attack up til now but he's still furious at himself for cracking.]

Crow!

[He bangs on the door but that's not going to let him out. So. Well this shack has windows, it's not an impenetrable basement, he's just going to go break one and climb out, trying to be careful of the glass but caring less about cuts than about getting to Crow.]

[He can hear the window break. Part of him wants to get up and run and make sure Rean's not hurt, but he can't. He tries but his legs won't listen -- he's freaking out so badly that it's overriding any thought that could tell him to come out of this defensive ball. Knowing Rean's just going to be nice to him makes it worse, so rather than come running he just curls up even tighter, making tiny distressed noises and struggling to get any air at all.]

[That makes it easy for Rean to just drop down in front of him and grab his hands away from his head. Trying to make him look up.]

Crow!

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